[frozen]fish

sometimes to experience something new you have to jump in to the [frozen] end of the pool.


i did just that when i went ice fishing the other week.


since moving to maine, i had been wanting to go ice fishing.  an activity i had seen in movies but had never experienced  luckily, a couple of my friends knew this and invited me out one evening after work.  little did i know what i had just gotten myself into.

we drove north, which i've been told is where the [real] maine is, unlike the area i live in which is called northern massachusetts.  it was dark and got got darker as we left the lights of the city behind us and wound our way into the frozen woods.  after about an hour we stopped and unloaded the equipment.  the supplies consisted of buckets, beer, sabiki's and fishing poles that looked like the ones i had as a child.  we hauled the gear to a little hut where a guy who didn't say much took our money, unlocked a small closet door, put the money in, grabbed a can of worms and promptly locked the door again.  this had me curious for a couple reasons. one, either ice fishing is more lucrative than i originally thought or these are some wicked aggressive worms he's giving us.

we received our hut number and headed out across the frozen water.  as it was an outgoing tide our hut was on the far side of the river.  as i heard the deep and scary sound of ice cracking in the distance, it occurred to me i've never walked on a completely frozen river.  that fear quickly subsided as i gazed upon the fishing huts.  dozens of windowless shacks that looked like some sort of punishment box in an isolation camp.  it felt like i had stepped into the middle of a doomsday prep-er convention; like ted kaczynski had designed a cul-de-sac.  inside however was a different story, i opened the door to find a toasty warm cast iron stove with plenty of wood.

the rest of the night was spent learning how to smelt fish, which, as it turns out are tiny fish attracted to the nastiest worms i've ever had to use as bait. i now understood the locked door.  we chatted, we drank, we listened to billy joel....we caught tiny fish.  i had a really good time, which was exactly what i needed to help me get through my first new england winter.  one of the more interesting aspects of the night was meeting the other people fishing in the huts next to us, who would occasionally knock on our door to see how the fishing was going in our camp. they were an interesting group.  imagine if you will the type of guys that would sit on a frozen river, in the middle of the night, away from society, in a tiny windowless hut, to catch, fry and eat tiny fish.  if you can picture that, you're getting close.

the funny thing is, for one night, i was one of those guys, and i really enjoyed it.

i felt just a little more [mainer] on the drive home that night.




















winter [light]


wanting to capture the portland headlight during a snow storm led me to my first time photographing a subject in really nasty weather.  i was not well prepared.  lessons learned; bring warmer clothes, bring a thermos of coffee, double check and make sure your tripod is working, bring a cover for your camera, bring lens cleaner and lastly....wear shoes meant for walking on the ice.  falling and busting your knee two steps out of your car makes for an awful time.  all that being said, i was happy with the final pics.  hopefully i'll have another chance to capture this icon again this winter season.











year in pictures [2016]

year twelve for the [year in pictures] post 


i've never left [home] before.

sure there were the college years and those nine months i spent in san diego, but i always had a place to come [home] to.  even living on my own in an apartment in downtown wichita for the past decade, my parents were a mere 15 minute drive away, so even my bachelors pad, which i called [home] only felt that way because my friends and family were so close.

earlier this year, i actually left my [home]


or at least i thought i did.


turns out i was wrong.  

looking back through pictures i took these past twelve months, trying to find the ten which most represented my year, i discovered something i didn't expect.  you don't ever really leave home, you simply find a new one.  wichita, will always be my home, nothing can ever change that, but somewhere in the last 45 weeks of this past year portland, maine also became my [home].  it was hard to leave wichita, mainly because i had so many memories there.  i was heading to some "place" i didn't know, with zero memories.  little did i know that it's memories that turn a "place" into a [home]. with that said, i offer you ten place-to-home turning memories from the past year.



last_night_at_luckys_1.22.16

every friday night without planning or question, my friends and i would gather a lucky's.  it really is a magical thing. years from now when they write the history of wichita in the 2000's, lucky's will be known as the gathering spot of some of cities most creative and talented people, solving the social problems and civic issues of the city we love, one pool game at a time. thankfully i was lucky enough to be a part of it.  for almost a decade this was my friday night [home].  i miss it terribly.  i purposely took this pic to remind me what it was like just before i would pass by the large windows and see who was gathered around the pool table that night.


leaving_on_a_jet_plane_2.24.16

i left my hometown one cold february morning just as the sun was rising in the east, giving me one final view of my [home] before starting a new adventure out east.



foggy_ships_5.13.16

i moved to maine at the end of february.  by the middle of may spring had still not made a full appearance.  thankfully there was starting to be a few hours of daylight at the end of my work day, which i was excited about.  this particular day was still cool and very foggy.  i took a long walk home that afternoon a snapped this picture.  i remember for the first time starting to find the beauty in the surroundings of my new [home].  shortly after this picture was taken spring finally arrived and it was amazing!


a_tradition_continues_6.18.16

every year, back in kansas, my friends would host a "june bucket"party.  this year my fiancee convinced me to invite all our new friends and keep the tradition going.  we had only been in town four months but we gathered everyone we knew a held the party.  it was amazing.  acquaintances became better friends that night, memories were made and a tradition was continued.  all of which led to portland feeling more like [home].



to_the_rescue_8.28.16

i'm not going to say much about this photo, other than to say it wouldn't be a family vacation without some sort of shit show happening, and there's nothing better than a good ol' family shit show to make you feel at [home].  just know that everything and everyone turned out ok.  i also think we're at the point now where we can all laugh about it, as it turned out to be nothing too serious.










beach_life_6.31.16

obviously i knew when i moved to maine it was near the ocean, but up until this day i thought all the beaches were rocky.  this is the day i discovered old orchard beach, with it's more typical stretches of sandy beaches. old orchard beach definitely has its own character and tourist attaching flare to it, but it was still a wonderful discovery.  finding unique things around your house helps make it a [home], and discovering old orchard beach with its ocean breeze carrying a corn dog fragrance made maine feel more like [home].








just_like_a_painting_8.11.16


i can't say enough wonderful things about the city of boothbay harbor.  without a doubt my favorite town in maine...so far.  almost in complete contrast to old orchard beach, boothbay was quiet and quaint.  a living postcard of what i thought maine would look like before moving here.  the weekend was spent making new friends and learning how to shuck oysters.  i took this picture because it so perfectly summed up my opinion of boothbay harbor; a real life painting.  i will be eternally grateful to the townspeople for making my fiancee and i feel at home that weekend.








lost_in_the_dunes_8.25.16

a weekend to a friends wedding found my fiancee and i discovering cape cod for a few days.  wanting to see the beach we randomly picked a spot on the map and discovered a wonderful spot.  hidden below the dunes the view was obscured until we came right up to the crest making for an amazing surprise.  we spent an hour taking in the view together, chatting about life and our own upcoming wedding.  sometimes it's not a place that makes you feel at [home] but rather a person.  this picture represents that whole trip for me...as well as the absolute best breakfast burritos i've had, which we had enjoyed that morning.








rainy_day_perspective_10.9.16

an october weekend found us taking a trip to newport.  unfortunately the weather was starting to hint at winter and it ended up being rainy and a little chilly the entire weekend.  luckily for us one of the more popular things to do in newport is to tour the [homes] of incredibly rich families.  after the tours we googled the town in search of places to grab a drink by a fireplace, which led us to a couple great bars and several new local friends.  this weekend reminded me you don't need a multi million dollar castle to have a great [home] all you really need is a good drink and a fireplace.








holiday_home_12.14.16 

not much to look at, but this is the view i see everyday when i come [home].  memories my fiancee and i have shared with each other and with new friends have started to make this house feel like a [home] and i love it.  i also still love my friends and family in my [home] back in wichita, which makes me think about the saying  [home] is where the heart is.

i fully believe that.  

but i also now believe your heart has the ability to be in a couple places at once.

walking in a [lounge] wonderland


to all my friends, both near and far, new or old, in real life or digital, i hope you're having a wonderful holiday season and anxiously looking forward to an exciting new year!



previous cards:

a mainers christmas



twas the night before christmas, and all through downeast,
not a lobstah was stirring, all boiled for the feast;
the wool socks were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that l. l. bean gift cards soon would be there;

mainers were nestled at the snug and not their beds,
while visions of whoppie pies danced in their heads;
and mamma in her bean boots, and i in my flannel,
were drinking pints at the bar, watching the sports channel.

when outside door, i heard spreading sand,
and checked my phone for the parking ban.
cars were all covered by the new-fallen snow,
making it easy to spot the ones to needing to tow.
when, what to my frozen eyes should appear,
but a delivery truck and eight kegs of beer,

a grizzled old driver, only 'bout four feet high,
i knew in a moment it was the craft beer guy.
quicker than the patriots, the barrels they came,
and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"now, ALE! now, PALE! now, PILSNER and PORTER!
on, BELGIAN! on AMBER! on, LAMBIC and LAGER!
to the top of the draft, from the windows to the walls!
now drink away! drink away! drank away all!"

he was dressed like a brewer, from his hat to his socks,
and his clothes, how they smelled of barley and hops;
a bundle of growlers he had in the back,
along with hard to find beers and holiday six -packs.

the lagers -- how they twinkled!  the porters so merry!
the lambics tasted like roses, just a hint of cherry!
all the bottles were wrapped with a bright pretty bow,
and the froth from the head was as white as the snow;

there was a pipe in his mouth, he started to toke,
taking advantage of maine's latest vote;
he had a broad little face with an extra long beard,
combined with a trucker hat, his face disappeared.

of course he was chubby, on account of the carbs,
and nights spent at rosie's and ruski's and other maine bars;
a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
made me love this wicked good giver of liquid bread;

he spoke not a word, but went straight to his tasks,
he checked all the lines; and connected the casks,
then giving a chuckle with a hint of a snort,
he walked outta the bar and into old port;

he sprang to his truck, and gave the ladies a nod,
and away he drove like a shoal full of cod.
but I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS YOU MAINERS, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

snap[chat] out of it

being away from your home for a long time is a strange feeling.  going back home is a strange feeling as well.

for the first time in nine months, i traveled back to kansas to celebrate thanksgiving with my family.  the minute i was in town, it felt like nothing had changed and this whole [portland] thing had been a dream.  making the rounds to my favorite spots, i was recognized and greeted by friends and people who knew me.  a feeling i hadn't had in a while. from bars and restaurants to shops, i constantly ran into wonderful people who had been a part of my life for a long time.  after being in a desert of anonymity for the past nine month, i was flooded with the feeling of being recognized.

i can't lie, it was a wonderful and warm feeling i missed.

i cherished every minute spent with family and friends. a perspective you only get after months out of eyesight from them.

days later i returned [home] to maine and slowly got back into my routine here. i found myself  looking back through my snapchat memories and the whole wichita trip now felt like its own dream.

and that's a thought i'll hold on to.  i'm lucky enough to be between two dream worlds.

here are a few of my snapchat memories, in their wonderfully raw quality.




 leaving the northeast




 airplane sketches



arriving in the midwest






 
wichita airport




 
 friday night crew






 friday night standard order







 board games






 an ace player






 kansas running






 pho sure





one of my favs

[so] goes hojo


before the days got shorter and summer officially ended i took a long trip to visit the second to last howards johnson's restaurant in its final days of operation.

my love for anything and everything dealing with roadside america is what led me to the decision to wake up early one saturday and drive two hours to pay homage to this diner deity. being from the mid-west, and born in the 80's, i missed the golden era of howards johnson's when there were thousands of restaurants across america and hence had never had the privilege to eat at one.  

i didn't go for the food, i went for the memory.  living in a state were everything is new to me, i wanted to part of its history.  over the course of my life i had visited nearly every place in wichita.  i could partake in conversations where people would ask if you remembered "that old place" or "this old restaurant" and i loved knowing those forgotten places.  secretly i went and ate at the howard john sons because i wanted to be able to say,  "yeah, i remember that place...such a shame it closed." now, some of you may say it was cheating to eat at a place five days before it closed after being opened since 1966, but the brief memories i made while there could have been made in any of those 50 previous years.

i ordered a burger and fries from kathe, a lady who had been working there since the day it opened.  she was sweet to me and made sure everything tasted alright.  she easily could have served me my food and not cared how it tasted since the whole place would be closed soon, but i appreciate the fact she probably treated me the same as any customer who had sat at that counter in the last 50 years. as i ate my burger and gazed at the mid-century time capsule i was in, the guy next to me started chatting.  as it would turn out, he had installed the equipment in the restaurant when it opened and had been a regular ever since.

as friendly as everyone was, there was a solemn feeling in the air.  it felt a lot like a funeral and in a way it was.  we were all there to pay our respects to a way of life quickly disappearing.  a way of life where your car was your freedom and the road was an adventure.  a way of life nestled in between the days where all meals were home cooked and picking up your dinner through a window. the era of family drives and vacations, and memories made under an iconic, roadside attracting, orange roof. walking around the restaurant you could feel the memories of thousands of families who had stopped here for a nice meal before heading on their way to the woods of northern maine.

as in any memorial service you remember the good times and to that i'd like to raise a cup of coffee and thank the bangor howard jouhnsons to a very memorable lunch, and helping me feel apart of maine history.